In Bloom

2006-10-05T14:51:00.000-05:00

Planning a Wedding = ACK!

2006-10-05T14:46:00.000-05:00

So I'm really starting to get stressed with this whole wedding thing... it just hit me that I have been engaged for over a month and I have nothing done yet. How scary is that? It's really hard being in Arkadelphis going to school full time and working 30+ hours a week, while one mom is in Tulsa, the other in Mena (with Jennifer), and my fiance in Russellville... planning just isn't going to be easy!

This weekend I am going to look for a wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses but the hardest part so far has been locations... for the wedding and reception. It's really hard to find unique places in Mena. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

So yeah, ACK!

Kentucky

2006-09-01T10:00:00.000-05:00

So two of my best girls from PCC and I are all meeting up in Kentucky. YAY! I'm so excited! I haven't seen Mary in over a year... she is the coolest EVER! I can't wait! I'm so excited!!! So I have to suffer through Contemporary World Hisory (where most of my classmates were in the 8th grade when I was a Senior!!!) and a job interview at Dillards (YAY!) then I get to head to 'ole Kentucky! WooHoo! Happy Labor Day!

Sarah-isms

2006-08-08T11:59:00.001-05:00

14 months ago my parent's got an unexpected blessing. Sarah Jo came to live with us. She was four at the time and the craziest little girl you can imagine. She captured all our hearts and became an unreplacable part of our family. I can't remember or imagine what life was like without her. In May she offically became Sarah Rose and now will forever be part of our family. This is wonderfully comforting to me.

So I thought I would post a few of what our family calls "Sarah-isms" (She says the FUNNIEST things). If anyone has any to add please comment me with them and I'll add them. Here are a few of my favorites though.

This was a conversation between her and Nera (our sister from Albania)
Nera: "So Sarah are you in the 1st Grade?"Sarah (my 5 yr old sister): "Noooooo! I'm not a grader, I'm a gartner, a KINDER-GARTNER"

She walked into the living room one day and stuck her stomach out, patted it and said. "whew! I'm getting fudgy"

One day dad was going over his sermon fot the next Sunday with mom. Sarah walked in right as mom was telling dad how the Holy Spirit always annoints him. Sarah turned to my parents and said "God doesn't annoy you He always listens, except when you're cussing!" (Out of the mouths of babes...)

She was sitting in a chair in the living room looking at her arms when I walked in, she looked up at me and said, "I have a really brown conflection."

She is really tan (unlike the rest of our family) and she likes to tell people she is brown, not white. One day dad introduced her to Nobert, an employee of ours from Sri Lanka who is very dark skinned. Dad said. "Sarah this is Nobert, he is brown." She looked up and him and said, "you are as brown as the freckle on my bottom!" Oh my!

She also has a freckle on the bottom of her foot in the exact same location dad has one. Sarah like to tell people she has her daddy's freckle and his nose.

Sarah is a NUT! And a blessing to the WHOLE family! I love her more than life and I thank God everyday that she is one of us!

*EDIT* Mom wanted me to add something she said the other day. Nikki is running for Miss Polk County this year. Sarah came in all excited and informed mom that "Nikki is running for Lady Liberty!"

College... ACK!

2006-08-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

So I just thought I would get on here and admit to the world (or atleast the 3 people who read this) that I am SCARED! Like get butterflies in your stomach everytime you think of it, scared to go to college. I'm not so good at meeting new people and Arkadelphia is going to be full of them! Plus, new classes, professors, roommates... I'm freaking out here!

Things You May Not Know About Me

2006-07-26T10:40:00.000-05:00

A)Four jobs I have had in my life:

Rose Aircraft Services - Accounting
Post Office @ Pensacola Christian College - I loved this job!
Smokehouse Grill - Waitress/Hostess
Conerstone Christian Books and Gifts

B)Four movies you could watch over and over:

Wedding Crashers
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
The Wedding Date
Sweet Home Alabama

C)Four places you have lived:

Mena, Arkansas
Pensacola, Florida
Tulsa, Oklahoma
(soon to be) Arkadelphia, Arkansas

D)Four TV shows you love to watch

Grey's Anatomy (Patrick Dempsey!!!)
FRIENDS
That 70's Show
All those VH1 "Documentaries"

E)Four places you have been on vacation

Branson, MO
Santa Fe, NM
San Antonio, TX
Atlana, GA

F)Websites you visit daily

Myspace.com
Facebook.com
Xanga.com
Different peoples blogs (Steph, Stephan, Mindi, Valarie, Emily) - I love reading about your lives

G)Four of my favorite foods

Spaghetti
Pizza Hut Pizza (I DO live with Nathan)
Balsamic Chicken
Grandma's Strawberry Pie

H)Four Places I'd rather be right now

My Grandma Ninkie's House
Aunt B's pool
The Beach
The Lake

I)Four friends I think will respond

Frank
Nathan
Brittany
Travis (get a blog and respond!)

Bad Days

2006-07-25T18:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes life just really sucks! You think things are going great and then someone throws you a curve ball. I'm crying as I write this... mourning relationships that I loved with people I loved that can and will never be the same. I'm not saying they will always be bad, but the "normal" that I have known (and loved) for so long will never be there again. This is that part of change that I hate. I'm worried and scared and hurting too...

The Natural State

2006-07-18T19:35:00.000-05:00

So call me crazy but I happen to love living in Arkansas! Now I'm not necessarily saying I want to stay here for the rest of my life... Especially in Mena... But I can't imagine growing up anywhere else. I wouldn't want to! Sure Mena is literally the middle of nowhere... There is nothing to do and not so much culture, but it's BEAUTIFUL!

Travis and I went to Arkadelphia today to do some stuff at OBU and get some job applications. On the way home I was concentrating really hard on not going to the bathroom in his car seat and I really checked out the scenery. It is AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL here! Even in the heat of July when the temp gets over a hundred... Still so pretty! I love it! I lived in Florida for three years and sure the beaches were pretty and all but nothing compares (in my opinion) to growing up in the heart of the Ouachita mountains! (Don't I make it sound romantic?)

Change

2006-07-17T17:23:00.000-05:00

So I took some time and read through all of my old posts. It's amazing how so much can change in a little over a year. Some things changed for the better and some for the worst, but the fact is almost everything changed. Hmmm, kind of makes and emotional girl like me want to cry. :) Go Figure!

I've never been a big fan of change. I love adventure and spontaneity, but I also love steadiness and dependency. Yeah I know I'm a strange case. The current changes in my life are great! Exciting and Fun! I can't wait, but at the same time part of me is still longing for the past. Why is it that as humans we can never be satisfied. You long for something and work and beg and push and when it finally happens it isn't near what you thought it would be and then you long for the past again. Is it selfishness? General discontent? Does any of this even make sense to anyone else? In my last post I was excited about the changes... now they are bittersweet.

I HATE PCC! Really! I know that is a strong word and I might get looked down upon for using it but it is reality. I HATE it! You couldn't pay me to go back there... but in the same thought I miss it! How WEIRD is that? I do miss the good points and my friends, man I miss my friends. I can't wait to finish college and 'begin' my life but that the same time I am SO SO SCARED of finishing college... what will I do?

Basically I long for change and then loathe it... Why?

2006-06-29T10:37:00.000-05:00

Times they are a changin!! Details to come (wink) (wink)!

2006-05-31T09:15:00.000-05:00

Busy! Busy! Busy! Days ahead! I feel like its finals week and I haven't started studying yet. You know that knot in the gut of your stomach when you have a lot to do and you don't know how your gonna get it done? That is how I work best... but the next few days are gonna bite!

Check this out!

2006-05-18T12:02:00.000-05:00

http://www.whiteboydj.com/babygotbook.html

2006-05-17T09:31:00.000-05:00

SLEEP! Jac needs sleep!

Surprise Blessing

2006-05-12T08:28:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I am minding my own business at work when I think to myself, Jac (that is what I call myself) you need to check your email. So I hit the send button (cause it doesn't come on its own) and I have a message from OBU. Now at the risk of misquoting I have decided to simply copy and paste the email I received.

Hi Jaclyn,

I just received word that our financial aid committee has awarded you a Ouachita Grant in the amount of $6,000. per year - congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

You'll be getting an official award letter sometime in the near future, but I wanted to go ahead and let you know! I hope this will help make things a little easier!

Take care and let me know if you have any questions, ok?

God bless,
Deb Paxton
OBU Office of Admissions Counseling

Now let me tell you that my grades aren't so hot so I NEVER applied for aides or grants or anything. This just fell into my lap. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Really All I can say is "Praise God!" WOW!

So now more than ever, I know where I'm supposed to be!

Ouachita Baptist University

2006-05-10T20:06:00.000-05:00

So I will be attending OBU this Fall. I'm really excited about it, but nervous all the same! Starting over with friends SCARES me! I've never had to start from scratch... EVER! At PCC I had Nera when I started and I went to school in the same town my ENTIRE life, so this makes me want to pee my pants. But at the same time I am excited about the opportunities and so ready to be back in school! So here is to the OBU Tigers!

I have become a bit nostalgic lately... maybe it is my old age, I don't know. I miss old times and old friends. I hate change (who doesn't). As much as I don't want to go back to PCC I do miss my friends there. Most of them I met my freshman year and despite the craziness of the school we managed to have some great FUN! Here is to Amber and Rachel and Sarah and all the others who graduated today! Yay for them! I talked to two of my best guys on the phone the other night which was WONDERFUL! I have so few friends here that it was refreshing to talk to some guys who still love me. This is the 1st time in 7 semesters that I haven't given Dreek the "Famous end of semester hug"! I love that big guy! (DEEP SIGH)

Well here is to a summer FULL of FUN! (Can't wait for Donn and Nate to get home!!) and a New Semester with a New School and NEW FRIENDS! YAY!

2006-04-28T09:59:00.000-05:00

Frousins

2006-04-28T09:28:00.000-05:00

There is something to be said for your two best friends being two of the people who have known you the longest. They know EVERYTHING! The good, the bad, the ugly. They have been with you while you were on top of the World and helped you up when you have fallen flat on your face. They've been there through elementary schools and new babies and graduation and parental issues and bad relationships and stupid mistakes and making the deans list and problems with family and (of course) LOTS and LOTS of Pizza. They have stood by your side through every major event in your life up to this point. No there hasn't always been this tight of a circle, but they have been there. Oh the stories to tell! People say that cousins... and friends draw apart as they get older and maybe "they" do, but we won't! We Can't! (We have made it this far!) No matter where life takes us we will always be FROUSINS! We will always be BEST FRIENDS!

Here's To...

2006-04-17T08:57:00.000-05:00

...Barbers and Blind Dates
...Little Rock Malls and 5 year old sisters
...Plenty of Country on the Radio (Gotta love the South!)
...Wasting gas while dreaming of having a life
...Facebook (thanks to Nate!)
...Backroads and Donn and Nate
...Embarrassing, why did I do that? notes on Will's truck
...Easter dresses and my dad
...HUGE family gatherings at the most peaceful place in the world
...Feeling like things are ALMOST back to normal, like they were before the "War of the Roses"
...POWER walking with Britt (Nikki you have no idea!)
...Driving almost a full hour to spend just an hour and a half doing absolutely nothing with your best friend and loving every minute of it!

Gavin DeGraw

2006-03-21T08:40:00.000-06:00

So last night Nate and I drove around talking and we started to listening to Gavin DeGraw again... Ask us (or Donnally) sometime about our special encounter with him. I still crack up everytime I think about Nathan in that pink shirt and his brave comments and the lady standing guard over me and Donnally like we were going to attack Gavin. Right... well Donnally might have given the opportunity. Ha! Anyway, I love this song of his so I decided to post it here so everyone can read it.

BTW: I'm really doing great! So great that it almost freaks me out! :)

I don’t need to be anything other than a prison guard’s son
I don’t need to be anything other than a specialist’s son
I don’t have to be anyone other than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I’m going is knowing where I’m coming from

(Chorus)
I don’t want to be anything other than
what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me

I’m surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can’t be the only one who’s learned

(Chorus)
I don’t want to be anything other than what
I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone’s attention please
If you're not like this and that You’re gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay to stone
And now I’m telling everybody

(Chorus)
I don’t want to be anything other than what
I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be

Let go?

2006-03-10T08:18:00.000-06:00

How do you let go of something that has been your everything for so long? Seriously, how is this done? Everyone keeps telling me to let go, but I don't know how. The natural reaction is of course to hold on tighter. I know this can't happen but doesn't it make more sense? Nothing makes sense anymore though.

Please pray, that's all I can say. Pray that if this is the right thing that we will both be ok, that we will have peace and be able to move on. However, if this is not the right thing that He will make it known to both of us. That we won't be able to be apart.

2006-03-08T09:01:00.000-06:00

So I haven't had the best week. Everyone who knows me is I'm sure worried with all the tears. The most amazing thing is that in the middle of all my heartsickness I have been given the most amazing peace I have ever felt. Peace that it is going to be ok, that God isn't finished with us or our relationship yet and that I just need to let go. Its so hard though... I'm a control freak! (I know everyone is saying, duh! Tell me something I didn't already know...) Every now and then I still break down, I just want to cry sometimes... so I do... then I stop and go on with life. I wouldn't have traded the last year and a half for anything, even if I knew how bad this would hurt.

Zepheniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee [is] mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Winter Weather Alert!!

2006-02-17T16:21:00.000-06:00

So it sounds like we will be getting some "winter weather" here in Polk County, Arkansas. I guess we will have to see. It always cracks me up how people react to a "winter weather" alert. Now since we did experience a MAJOR ice storm back in 2000 I can see why people would be nervous and want to be prepared, but NO milk left at Wal-Mart by Thursday afternoon?! That's a little much to me. My dad went to Wal-Mart to buy "supplies" yesterday. He says he was doing it out of self-defense so that my mom wouldn't go buy out the store. However, we all know he is nervous too and just doesn't want to show it. I'm planning on packing some good books and warm clothes and heading to Hatfield to "brave the great storm" with my Grandma Ninkie cause she is all alone. This I am looking forward to. Well, to all of you in the Greater Mena area I pray warmth and safety to you. We'll see what happens!

2006-02-15T17:26:00.000-06:00

Blah

2006-02-15T17:18:00.000-06:00

Now that I am home I am really going to try to be better at this thing. It's hard for me to remember to update. Also, my blog is getting on my nerves cause its messed up and I don't know how to fix it. I'm contemplating a new one... if anyone knows how to fix it let me know.

Well, the guys here had IM installed on their computer and Aunt B went and gave dad an abbreviation list. He's been talking in this "language" constantly! Its been driving me nuts and its supposed to be for my generation. I really don't understand why its so great! :) Its pretty funny trying to decode everything though.

Ok, I've been killing time waiting for the auction I am bidding on on EBAY to end and I think it has so as dad would say...TT4N!

Love Will Always Win

2006-02-12T20:43:00.000-06:00

Hold on like there's no tomorrow
There can be no sorrow
Right here where we stand
Living only for this moment
All we've ever wanted
Is right here in our hands

Some will say that we're sure to fall
Try to build their walls between us

No way over it
No way around it
If we want it
We have to go through it
Fight for love
And the world tries to break us down
But the world will bend
And the fight will end
Love will always win

Hold on 'til we see tomorrow
There is time to borrow
'Til we own our own
Walk on and our hearts will lead us
But our hearts will need us
To be steady and strong

So we can stand
And face the fire
Burning higher and higher

No way over it
Now way around it
If we want it
We have to go through it
Fight for love
And the world tries to break us down
But the world will bend
And the fight will end
Love will always win

We know that a rainbow waits
Beyond dark skies

Love will always win

Me again!!

2005-12-27T11:53:00.000-06:00

Ha! I'm updating! Hard to believe I know. I'm sure nobody even checks this thing anymore. Sorry, they don't allow me to blog at my wonderful school.

Speaking of school, it was a very interesting semester. By interesting I mean that it was hard! Hard in every way, emotionally, mentally... I'm so glad it is over. The thought of a new one starting isn't very exciting! In fact I am dreading it. The only thing keeping me going is knowing that in 2 more I will be done. I will have accomplished something great, something that hasen't been done in our family. I have a 4 year degree. That is exciting! It's enough to keep me going. Whew! I'm still dreading it though.

On to a happier comments... Christmas was great! I got everything I wanted and then some. Dad gave me a new super super nice digital camera and some money and a gift card to O'Charleys (so I can eat a good meal in Florida). I got a cute sweater from Jen, some jeans from Jon, a necklace from Nera, and a black skirt from Britt. Fun! I can't wait to really try out my new camera. Maybe when I go to Michigan I'll be able to get some good pics of Korey's nephews. I also got some adorable cowboy(girl) boots from my grandma! Tons of fun! I can't wait to wear them with skirts at PCC. I got a cool makeup/toiletries case from Maria with some microderm stuff and a Billy Joel CD from Nathan. It really was wonderful!!

So I leave for Michigan at 2am tonight (tomorrow)! I'm excited and disappointed at the same time. I can't wait to see Korey but I know his job is going to keep up from spending as much time with him as I wanted to... I'll try to update and say how things are going.

Well, that is going to be all for now. Much Love, Jaclyn

So Long...

2005-08-30T11:23:00.000-05:00

So I'm sorry I've beenso bad at updating this thing. I've been busy trying to get everything in order to leave this town and fly South for the semester. South-East to Hurricane Land. I am really ready to get a new semester underway. I can't wait to see ALL my friends (yes I have more friends than just Korey :) It's gonna be a trying semester, I'll be working, carrying a 17 credit hour load, and working a lot with my collegian, plus I HAVE to have a social life, know what I mean? So the plan is to keep updating this thing while I am down there. I'm gonna try to get blogspot on our intranet. If I can't I will go to a wi-fi as often as possible. So your prayers are coveted. I'll try to stay in touch. Much love.

2005-08-25T11:30:00.000-05:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

On the Run...

2005-08-22T14:23:00.000-05:00

Whew! What a day. I got up this morning and went to Ft. Smith to pick up a pilot. I got back and am planning on going to Little Rock in 2 hours to pick up another pilot. Busy day! Will post more later. :)

Another Day...

2005-08-19T12:24:00.000-05:00

I am so ready to go back to school. I know PCC can be an awful place, but its time to go back. Like I've said before I love the beginning of a new semester. I leave 2 weeks from yesterday! So only 13 days. Wow! That is not very long!

I watched a wonderful movie 2 nights ago, The Wedding Date. It was the best movie I have seen in a long long time. Deep sigh. It made me miss Korey so much more than usual. He really is a wonderful guy. I am so thankful for him. I can't wait to see him again!

I am taking pictures of Adrienne and Nikki this weekend. I'm really excited about it. I've done Nikki before, on her 13th birthday, and they turned out great. I'm looking forward to doing Adrienne's too. She is a pretty little thing, most people tell her she looks like me... what can I say, we've got good genes! :)

Anybody know where I can find some BIG duffel bags for CHEAP? I'm flying to school and then mailing the rest of my stuff so I need to get as much with me on the flight as possible. I don't have any luggage to call my own though so I need to get some big stuff for as little as possible.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!

Much Love.

This Entry Will Make You Cry!

2005-08-16T15:52:00.000-05:00

Just so everyone knows... I'm not going to get to talk to Korey on the phone tonight. This may not seem important to anyone else, but it will be the first time since we started dating again that I haven't talked to him all day. Anyone crying for me? I miss him!! (Aunt B you might not want to read the next line) ONLY 18 DAYS TILL I GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!

Rodeo Time!

2005-08-16T08:52:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of me, Donnally, and Nathan at the Rodeo. Fun stuff!

NO HOSE!!!

2005-08-12T16:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, so my title was a little misleading. There will still be hose some times, but it quoting from the "Things to Know Before Arrival" 2005-2006 book for Pensacola Christian College, page 17, "School Dress:
Casual dress - jumper - skirt - blouse/sweater (hosiery not required for afternoon dress)"

Can you believe it?!?! I hardly could! Last year they let us have cell phones, this year they tell us no hose. What is that place coming too??? Soon we might be able to stay up till 11:15 or 11:30 pm... Probably not, but you never know. I never thought they would let us go to class and off campus without our protective leg covering (aka panyhose)!

WOOHOO!!!

This is one HAPPY girl!!!

Pictures

2005-08-11T17:27:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures that I've been planning on uploading for a while:

This is a picture I took of me and my handsome boyfriend with my cell phone camera while I was in Michigan.

Here is another one that I took on that some night. Our silly faces :)

This is Sarah and her bad hair. She fixed it herself. :) She was being a bit of a stinker that night and she wouldn't let anyone help her.

This is Sarah again getting her hair permed. How cute is she? She was so good that day. The perm took 2 1/2 hours!! It looks totally adorable.

This is me and my good friend, Mary. Nera took pictures of us both on one Saturday at school. We had a lot of fun! The rest of these pictures are from then. Nera took them and made me some really cool cards to give Korey.

The wind was blowing something awful, but we had a lot of fun. I can't wait to go back to Florida though both those girls won't be there. :(

28 Ways to Make a Girl Smile

2005-08-11T11:00:00.000-05:00

I just found this on another girls Xanga and I thought it was cute so here it is... (Guys PAY ATTENTION! These are all things girls want!)

1. Tell her she's beautiful, not hot or fine or sexy (now while I love to hear the word beautiful I am not offended by hot, fine, or sexy. Some girls are though.)

2. Hold her hand at any moment, even if it's just for a second.

3. Make her laugh

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to (I get text messages which are nice too :)

5. Always tell her you love her at all times.

6. When she is upset tell her how much she means to you.

7. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most.

8. Call her babe or baby.

9. Sing to her, no matter how horrible your voice it.

10. Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. (ALWAYS a good choice)

11. Write her notes.

12. Introduce her to your family and friends as your girlfriend.

13. Call her just to say hello.

14. Pick her up; tickle her and play-wrestle with her - let her win occasionally (Korey, let me win occasionally!!)

15. Sit in the park and just talk to her.

16. Tell her funny jokes, stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.

17. Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.

18. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

19. Carve your names in a tree.

20. If she's mad at you, kiss her.

21. Give her piggyback rides.

23. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you are along.

24. Look her in the eyes and smile.

25. Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

26. Slow dance with her, even if there's no music playing.

27. Kiss her in the rain. Shoot, Kiss her EVERYWHERE!

28. If you are in love with her... Tell her.

P.S. I DO NOT want anyone thinking that I put this on here hoping Korey would read it. I have a wonderful boyfriend who makes me smile all the time. He does however, need to work on the letting me win sometimes one. :)

New Look - Same Blog

2005-08-10T16:43:00.000-05:00

So I decided I needed a new look. Those dots were starting to get on my nerves. I like this one though. Wish I knew how to customize it more.

I talked to my good friend Jim today. James Robert Flabo, II. He is such a character. We have been friends since Freshman year. I used to think him and Britt should hook up but that didn't work out. I love good guys friends, you know those ones that there was never any romantic history with so it never got complicated. That's how it is with Jim, good friends. I smile when I think of him. He is excited about me coming back to school. AS AM I!!! The more I think about it the more excited I get. I feel bad about missing all the stuff and disappointing people here, but I think I made the right decision and now I can't wait! The beginning of a new semester is always so exciting! I'm sick of it by the second week, but that first one with new book, and classes, and roommates. Nothing is funner! I love getting to see everyone that I haven't seen in a long time and catching up on our summers. Hmmm, stinks that I have to wait 23 more days.

I have A LOT to do before I leave though! I think I'll make a To Do List here:

1. Finish 1900 Job Cost analysis at work! Major project that I have to have done before I leave
2. Clean room! This has to happen soon (like this weekend)
3. Go through all tubs in garage. There is so much junk in there that I don't need at school
4. Get car fixed or decide not to take it
5. Take pictures of Zachary, Nikki, Adrienne, and Sarah
6. Find a CHI iron at a good price (This one is VERY important :)
7. Spend some QT with some very important people
8. Pack! I hate packing for a semester. It takes so long.
9. Figure out some ways to scrounge up more money :)

I'm sure there are many other things but that's all I can really think about now. I'm thinking now that it is a good thing that I still have 23 days left.

Alright, done for now. Love.

P.S. Does anyone have a recipe for Key Lime Pie that doesn't involve a meringue topping? I want to attempt this again before I go to school. Last night's was inedible at best, but I'm not ready to admit defeat. :)

2005-08-10T09:21:00.000-05:00

Bitterness sucks! I know this, I really do. It's just that it's the natural thing to do, you know. Almost like I'm avenging myself by staying mad and not forgiving. Like I can hold them hostage with my anger and my pain. How stupid is that? Yet at the same time, it's so easy to do. To get totally caught up in and consumed with. I don't want to be hurt anymore. If I forgive and nothing changes is that not just opening myself up for more pain. I don't think I could handle that. You know those knots that you get in the back of your throat when you are about to cry, I feel like they are ever present these days along with the hurt of the last 21 years.

Girlfriends

2005-08-09T09:10:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I got to talk to 3 of my best girlfriends from college. All in one day. Now contrary to popular belief I'm not really a phone person. There are certain times when I like to talk on the phone but not that often. I don't mind short conversations and long ones with certain people on a regular basis but not most people. I know I'm on my phone a lot but its not usually for a long time unless I'm talking to Korey or Maria. (And I go through withdraws if I don't have daily or atleast every other day chats with those two people.) All that to say it was really fun and quite unusual to talk to Janelle, Mary, and Amber all in one day (not to mention the hour I talked to Korey :) So I'm gonna dedicate this post to girlfriends.

Maria: She and I are cousins. Born one year and 2 weeks apart. Growing up we were always close (except for that VERY stupid time in my life during my last years of high school). She is so stinkin funny. Seriously, sarcastic as the day is long and as creative as they come. Her son, Zachary, is the cutest thing on two legs. She has matured into one of the best mothers that I've ever seen. Not to mention the fact that she puts up with James!

Janelle: She is my best friend from PCC. We were suitemates my first semester there and roommates my sophomore year. Also hilarious, she has the ability to make me laugh till I pee my pants more than anybody else. I love her! She is one of those people that would do anything for anybody whether or not she knows them. One of the most giving people I know. We are total opposites. You would probably never put us together as best friends, but it just works well. Janelle and I have one of those friendships were we could go (and have gone) months without talking to each other and when we get together it is like nothing every changed. She stopped going to PCC for a year but she's coming in the Fall! Good Times Ahead!!!

Mary: We had so much fun last year. We are a lot alike which means serious trouble when we are together and tons of fun! We laugh a lot but we have a lot of good serious talks too. She is getting married in October and I get to be in her wedding. I can't wait. Its gonna be fun! Kind of sad though cause I was always trying to convince her to marry my brother. Neither one of us was the "leader" in this friendship. We both just came up with crazy things to do and then convinced the other one to do it. Good times. :)

There are tons of other girls I could write about if I had the time: Steph (so happy for you and John Mark! I can't wait for the wedding!) Amber, Becca, Rachel and Sarah, Donnally (I could tell your Gavin story :) I have some wonderful girlfriends and cousins (Nikki, I didn't forget about you. I love you and I am so sorry that I won't be here for your 16th and cheerleading. You can call me or email me, since I know you won't write :), and tell me all about them) Not to mention the women in my life, and all my sisters if I try to go there this post will get extremely long! You all know who you are. So basically just know that I am one lucky girl!

Back to Pensacola!!

2005-08-09T09:02:00.000-05:00

I am going back to PCC! I know, crazy! Dad told me I could so I re-enrolled yesterday. I'm gonna work for the school while I'm down there. I can't say I'm thrilled about this, but whatever gets me there. :) It was one extremely hard decision to make, but now that it's done I am really excited! I have to be there on Sept. 2nd. Can't wait! So much to do this month though. Steph, if you are reading this I need you to call me as soon as you can. Love.

Morning

2005-08-08T07:31:00.000-05:00

Well, it's 7:30 am and I have been at work for an hour. Yes, an hour. I was actually supposed to be here at 6 am but ummm, yeah right! I rolled out of bed at 6:15 and was down here at 7. Anybody else impressed?

Yesterday was Jen and Sophie's (and Dan's) BLOWOUT shower. It was amazing how many gifts Jen got. I have no idea where it is all gonna go. Seriously, those of you who weren't there know that it took her 2 1/2 hours just to open gifts! I was pooped! I don't have a clue how her and Dan did that. So got amazing stuff. I think the day was a success.

Well, I think I'm gonna run and get some doughnuts. I need them this morning. I have a big new project at work and I still don't really have a clue what I'm doing...

PCC

2005-08-05T12:38:00.000-05:00

I just got a letter from the Collegian Director at PCC. Collegian are our Greek System. Every student has to join one. Mine is Delta Gamma Rho - The Bears. I hated it for the first few semesters. It is full of snobs. I only joined cause Nera was in it and then she graduated one semester later. I had no friends. It was awful. However, at the end of my Sophmore year I made one friend in my collegian. She was a Eagles Cheerleader. She insisted that I get involved and I did. The next semester she nominated me as Treasurer and somehow (I'm still not sure how) I won. Well this semester I was elected Vice-President. I was actually really excited about it. The President is an awesome girl. And we were planning all kinds of fun stuff for Greek Rush and the dating outing (which I would have planned). But, I'm not going back. I just typed a letter to send him and tell him. I'm really upset about this. I know I need to stay home and that this is my doing, but its hard. I'm going to miss so much. My best friend quit last year. She missed two semesters, this summer she decided she was going back... go figure. I'm going to miss out of a lot of classes with Korey and with all my other accounting friends. A lot of us have been together since AC 101. Its gonna be so hard. As much as I dislike that school, I do love all my friends. So anyway, there is my sob story. I'm gonna go and dry my eyes, mail my resignation to Mr. Hurst and get back to work.

Beauty From Pain

2005-08-04T09:14:00.000-05:00

I wanted to post this as a comment on my friend Lindelle's site, but I figured it would just take up too much space plus why not share it with everyone. This is the title track of Superchick's new CD. Its a really good song.

Lindelle, I just wanted you to know that I am so proud of you. I don't know how I would be at handling everything going on with you now, but you really are shining. I know there have to be days when it's still scary. But you are doing the right thing. Praise God for the beauty growing inside of you right now. You are going to be an amazing mother! I know this song might not fully relate to everything that's going on, but it was a big encouragement to me.

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed
I still will remain After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My "Thankful for..." List

2005-08-03T11:42:00.000-05:00

Well these last few days have been crappy! I'm not sure why, but they have sucked. I know that, to be honest, I need a serious attitude adjustment. So I thought I would write a "what I'm thankful for" list. Maybe it'll help...

1. I have the best boyfriend in the whole world. He can make my day with a few simple words. Even though being so far apart is hard I know that it's gonna just make us stronger. Man! I miss that handsome man!
2. I have a roof over my head and food on my table (all provided for by my parents)
3. I have a car in the driveway (its in the driveway and not at work because it isn't exactly in the best of conditions lately...)
4. I only have 3 semesters of college left
5. I have oodles and oodles of wonderful family that I love very much!
6. I have great friends all over the country from Arkansas, to Maine, to California, and back again!
7. I have a new niece on the way! I cannot wait to be an aunt!
8. I have a job in my field of interest. This is easy to take for granted but I really do have tons of accounting friends that would love to be getting the practical experience I am.
9. I live in Arkansas. This may not mean much to some people but it really is beautiful here.
10. I go to school in Pensacola, Florida. When our beaches are not being destroyed by hurricanes they are so wonderful. How many people get to study on Saturdays at the beach?

Ok so there are ten things. Not to bad. This only took me a few minutes too...

Stephanie

2005-08-01T15:02:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple pictures I took of Steph. They are part of here engagement pictures. There are some great ones of her and John Mark too but I don't want to get in trouble by posting to many. :) I know you doesn't want them all flashed around. Anyway, I love these pics. One she is showing off her ring and the other she is laughing in a typical Steph like manner. She really looks beautiful and mature.

HELP!

2005-07-29T16:24:00.000-05:00

Korey's birthday is coming up. Well, its still over a month away, (Its Sept. 9) but I'm having the hardest thinking of what to get him. I don't have too much money and he is kindof hard to buy for. I want to get him something "just right." I need any and all suggestions I can get! Please comment! On a side note I turned off the restriction so that anyone can post a comment.

Much Love.

True

2005-07-29T12:09:00.000-05:00

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me!

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

Ode to Uncle Jason

2005-07-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

So the other day I found out that my Uncle Jason reads this blog. (*edit - he has read the blog - not reads it). This cracked me up. I'm not sure why I thought it was so funny, but I did (I'm easily amused I guess). Anyway, his birthday is coming up sometime soon - maybe even today - so I thought I would dedicate an entry to him.

He can be the biggest pain in the butt, but most of the time he is pretty sweet and usually funny unless you get him in a bad mood. This bad mood thing can happen more than you think. He's handsome in that 'old man whose your uncle' kind of way. He has really great kids! All three of them are sweethearts. I think they take after their mother! He's a pretty good golfer from what I hear and he usually dresses pretty nice. (I'm really stretching it to come up with things to say here...) Oh, I almost forgot to mention that he is a really good cook.

So anyway, Happy Birthday Uncle Jason! I love you!

My Life By Threes

2005-07-26T17:14:00.000-05:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Jaclyn

2. Jac

3. Jacky – My father is the only one that calls me this and the ONLY one allowed too I’m not even sure he realizes that the calls me that

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My Smile

2. My laugh – I know its kind of a weird one but its original

3. My sense of humor – corny as it is

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. I’m as emotional as the average girl if not more

2. I get upset about stupid things

3. I can be really hard on people I love

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. Snakes

2. Something happening to one of my grandmas

3. Disappointing people I love

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. Cell Phone

2. An Iron – I HATE wrinkled clothes

3. Hearing Korey’s voice – I know that’s really sappy, but its true

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. AE Capri’s

2. Green polo shirt from Aero

3. Unmentionables

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTISTS:

1. Garth Brooks

2. Rascal Flatts

3. James Taylor

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:

1. You and Me by Lifehouse

2. True by Ryan Cabrera

3. Something in the Way She Moves by James Taylor

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:

1. Working a full 40 hour week maybe even with overtime

2. Actually save an entire paycheck

3. Be the best big sister I can be to my new 4 year old sister

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Good sense of humor

2. Good kisser :)

3. Someone who treats me like a princess yet doesn’t let me walk all over him

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1. I’m really sad about not going to school in the fall

2. I really enjoy sitting down and having a good cry
3. I love my job

THREE CONFESSIONS:

1. I love to spend money even if its just on groceries

2. One of my biggest dreams is to have a big foster home

3. I listen to Adventures in Odyssey constantly while I am working

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:

1. Dance though not for lack of trying

2. Carry money around and not spend it

3. Finish any blanket I start. I still have Zachary’s quilt from when he was born – almost 3 years ago. I’ve probably started 20-30 and only finished 2

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. Shopping

2. Reading (Even if it’s the same book over and over)

3. Laughing – I don’t know if it’s a hobby but I love to do it

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. Give Korey a big hug and a kiss – actually I would settle for just seeing his handsome face

2. Get into the air conditioning – my office is HOT!

3. Stumble upon a very large sum of money

THREE KIDS' NAMES:

1. Eisenhower (Ike)

2. Esther

3. Merideth

So Very Sorry

2005-07-26T09:51:00.000-05:00

I am dreadfully sorry that I haven't been able to update since I've been back. I've been busy... really. I haven't wanted to write unless I had time to really write. However, since I've been getting quite a bit of harrassment lately I figured I would write a quick entry right now. I promise that I'll give a run-down of my trip back (2 days and 4 cancelled flights!!) soon. Much love.

Michigan Part III

2005-07-14T08:24:00.000-05:00

Hey! I don't have much time to write. I'm on my way to Korey's sister's house but I just wanted to update and say hey. I'm having a wonderful time and I'm really dreading Monday. Yesterday Korey and I got to just hang out and watch a movie and stuff. That was really nice. We were both pooped after Cedar Point. Today he is working for a few hours then we are going to go swimming. Tonight we are going to have dinner and play games with his sisters, their husbands, and his dad. Should be lots of fun. Alright I've gotta jet. Love.

Michigan Part II

2005-07-11T20:10:00.000-05:00

Korey and I just got back from his game. It wasn't the best. They kind of got killed. However, he still looked really hot out there!! Anyway, today was a good day. I went swimming all day with Korey's two sisters, Kim and Kelly. We were at Kim's mother-in-law's house. There were a lot of people there. It was fun. Yesterday we went to church and then Korey's step-mom made us lunch. It was really good. After church last night we went to Korey's old youth pastor's house. They have the cutest three boys. On Saturday after he picked me up we went to lunch then we went shopping and had dinner with Kelly and her husband. So its been a lot of fun so far. We've been really busy. I don't want it to go so fast though. He is the greatest guy! Hmmm, big smile on my face. Alright, I'm gonna try and look at Jen's 4D pics of Sophie now. Peace Out!

Michigan

2005-07-11T15:39:00.000-05:00

Hey Everybody!
I'm having a really good time in Michigan. I've been really busy so sorry that I haven't updated. Everything has been going good and everyone has been nice. I'd give a run-down of what happened so far but I can't cause Korey just got home and we have to leave for his softball game in a few minutes. Tomorrow we are going to Cedar Point!! I will post more when I have a chance.
Love!
Jaclyn

The Ramblings of an Awful Blogger

2005-07-07T12:32:00.000-05:00

I'm turning into the worst blogger ever! Sorry things have been crazy for me lately... plus since I don't have an office I've been working at home lately... without internet.

So, I'm going to be in Michigan in 46 hours!! I can't wait!! I'm so excited! Yahoo! I can't wait to see Korey. Its been two months. Two long months. I'm trying not to think about it to much. I've been packing like mad. I'm trying to fit everything in one suitcase and toiletries bag. Its tight. Well, I'm gonna go and get to work. Jen's ultrasound is in less than an hour!!

Updates soon!

Any other day...

2005-06-28T16:32:00.000-05:00

Good day.

I really have noting to write but it drives me crazy when other people (you know who you are...) don't update regularly so I figured I should.

Today has been a productive day. I'm proud of myself. I've really worked hard. This is not always the easiest thing to do.

I'm still struggling over whether or not I should go back to Florida next semester. There is just SO MUCH to do here. Jen's baby in September, my friend Mary asked me to be in her wedding in October, and Steph's wedding in December (the weekend before finals start!!) There is just no way I can get it all done. Its hard though... my best friend sat a year out and she'll be back next semester. I'm almost positive I'm not going back though...

Alright, well I've gotta get back to work.

P.S. 11 Days till Michigan!!

My Korey

2005-06-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend, Korey, is THE single greatest man that ever lived. I am so crazy about him. He is adorable. He is so sweet, and funny, and smart. I love the way he doesn't take any crap from me yet still manages to make me feel like a Princess. Did I mention he is really handsome. Mmmm, I think he is the best! I am so thankful for him. I'm gonna see him in two weeks from tomorrow and I CANNOT wait!

Blah! Blah! Blah!

2005-06-24T00:02:00.000-05:00

Blah. Blah. Blah. That's what I feel like today. BLAH! I don't really know why. Aunt B just reminded me ever so kindly of all the things going right in my life. I just still feel blah.

Last night was fun. Maria, Zachary, and I went to Aunt B's and had spaghetti and swam for a while. I watched part of the game too. Poor Korey! His Pistons lost. I felt bad for him but I really wanted the Spurs to win cause we had a bet! So woohoo!! I won!! I love making bets with him we do it a lot! Once I had to clean out his car cause I didn't lose 10 lbs. Not that he was trying to get me too... Anyway.

Well, I'm about to go to lunch with Aunt B, Nathan, and (maybe) Grandma. Peace Out!

(15 days till I get to see MY MAN!!)

2005-06-22T16:48:00.000-05:00

I'm ready to go home!!!

2005-06-22T16:27:00.000-05:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Here I am

2005-06-21T16:26:00.000-05:00

First Name:Jaclyn
Were you named after anyone? My grandpa Jack
Do you wish on stars? Always
When did you last cry? Today I teary-eyed while I was talking to Aunt B
Do you like your handwriting? Unless I'm in a big hurry, yes
What is your favorite lunchmeat? Turkey (I'm boring!)
What is your most embarrassing CD? Ummm, I don't know. I was never a N'Sync fan or anything like that so I really don't have one...
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes and I felt awful! I try not to do this.
Do looks matter? Yes, they aren't the most important but they matter
How do you release anger? Usually I vent to someone (Feel bad for Korey, Maria, and Aunt B they usually get to hear it :)
Where is your second home? I definitely have more than 2
Do you trust others easily? On some levels yes, but when it comes to really important thing then no
What was your favorite toy as a child? Baby Alive: this awesome doll you that ate and drank and went to the bathroom. My Grandpa Jack got it for me. It was the last thing he got me before he died.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Me? Never!
Favorite movie(s)? Any chick flick with a cute actor and a happy ending. I like warm fuzzies.
What are your nicknames? Most people call me Jac, when Korey is being obnoxious he calls me Pumpkin
Would you bungee jump? I would like to think I would
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Usually but not always
Do you think that you are strong? Mentally and emotionally, yes (most of the time) Physically, no
What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and Cream
What are your favorite colors? Pink
What are you listening to right now? People talking... usually its Adventures in Odyssey
Last thing you ate? Mac and Cheese
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple, the color of royalty
What is the weather like right now? Sunny and HOT!
Last person you talked to on the phone? Donnally about my pics from the Gavin DeGraw concert
How are You Today? I've changed a lot through the day... Excited (about Michigan) a little hurt, angry, and sad about other stuff
Favorite Drink? Limeade from Cruizzers or Sonic
Favorite Sport? Shopping! If that doesn't count then Basketball
Hair Color? This is up in the air, most people say its a strawberry blonde so I guess I'll go with that
Eye Color? Hazel like my daddy
Do you wear contacts? Ummm, yeah! Without them I am totally blind
Favorite Food? Spaghetti, Pizza, Mac -n- Cheese
Last Movie You Watched? Either Hitch or Billy Madison
Favorite Day Of The Year? October 31st!! (My birthday)
Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings, definitely Happy Endings
Hugs Or Kisses? Mmmm, kisses!
What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake, Grandma's Strawberry Pie, Apple Pie
Living Arrangements? With my parents during school breaks and dorm room during the semester
What Book(s) Are You Reading? Wildflowers by Robin Jones Gunn
What is on Your Mouse Pad? Don't have one
What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Don't have tv
Favorite Smells? Korey's cologne :)
Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
Do you believe in Evolution or Creationism? Creationism all the way!

Michigan or Bust!!

2005-06-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!!! I just booked my ticket to Michigan! I'm leaving July 8th and I'll be back on July 19th!! I can't wait! This is going to be the longest 18 days of my life. I'm really excited about finally meeting Korey's family. I just hope they like me. :)

In other news... Last weekend was a lot of fun! I took a trip with my little cousin, Nathan and his friend Donnally. We drove all night to Mobile, AL. We spent Saturday on the beach (interesting stories about this that shouldn't be published... Just ask me or Nate we'll be glad to indulge) and at the mall then we went to see Gavin DeGraw. It was fun. Watching Donnally was hilarious! She is romantically involved with Gavin you see. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it!

Well, I'm gonna stop. Have I mentioned I'm REALLY EXCITED about going to Michigan?! Cause I am!!!

Jaclyn and Korey

2005-06-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

Well, I have some really really REALLY good news! I know everyone has probably heard but I wanted to go ahead and post it. Yesterday I got a page that I had a delivery waiting for me downstairs in my Aunt Sandi's office. I went down and there was 2 1/2 dozen red roses waiting for me! In side was a card from Korey saying that he couldn't handle being without me and he wanted me back! Crazy, huh!! I was in a state of shock! I couldn't believe it. I didn't think he would come around so soon. I know it seems like its been forever, but its only been 3-4 weeks. I'm so happy. Now we are trying to figure out when I can get to Michigan to see him and meet his family :) He really is a wonderful guy.

You know as hard as these last few weeks have been I really think they were good for us. I've never cried so much, but it really helped put things in perspective. Like I've said before it is so easy to take things for granted. Both Korey and I needed a chance to look over our relationship and see what we wanted. We also needed to change some things. Fix some things in our relationship. This was a good time to do that. Now we can start fresh again. I can't wait!!

This is my smiling... really smiling. Havea great day!

Another Day

2005-06-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

Well, today was another day. Nothing too exciting happened. Work, dentist, work again. Tonight I'm gonna work with Nathan cleaning at the airport. Fun! Fun! I need the money though.

Yesterday I decided to show Nick Rose how the whole blog thing works. I showed him the post about his laugh and how Christopher responded. He was so cute. He was really embarassed. Funny! Funny! I showed him then how Valerie wrote about him in his pjs. What a cute kid!

I finally got a new cell phone so Korey and I can send pics back and forth. Cool, huh! He sent me one today of him with facial hair. It was interesting. He looked kind of cute in a gruff way. Of course I would probably think Korey was cute any way he looked. You know what they say... Love is blind. :) Korey really is hot though! Ok, enough on that. I'll just sit here and think of how hot he is for a while after I finish posting this.

Well, I'm gonna stop. Btw, the girls night was SO MUCH FUN!! I can't wait to do it again! Those girls are hilarious.

An update on my wonderful day...

2005-06-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to say that although there have been many things happen to ruin my wonderful day I refuse to let it happen! Our lunch date had to be changed cause Maria couldn't take off. Instead we grabbed a pizza and ate there. It was still fun. I discovered what appears to be poisen ivy on my foot and the worst... Vicki's sale doesn't begin until the 21st of this month!!! But like I said, today is a great day. I'm going to have a blast tonight, I'm having a good hair day, and I have freshly shaven legs (Elijah would be proud :)! Here's to Fridays!!

An evening wth two handsome men

2005-06-10T09:23:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day. I've decided that and I won't let anything ruin it. I got up around 6:30 this morning. Is anyone else shocked? I wanted to actually get ready since I'll be out on the town tonight. (Or atleast something like that.) I was ready in time to go all the way across town (for those of you who don't know Mena all the way across town is like a total of 10 miles - with no traffic) and get some donuts before work. I'm impressed with myself. I had a text message and 2 emails waiting for me from that boy I'm not currently dating (but still a bit hung up on). That was a pleasant surprise. I never know exactly what to expect. I guess that's a good thing. Like I said, today is a good day. At 12:15 I get to have lunch with two of my favorite people, Maria and Nathan. I'm sure I'll do more laughing than eating. Once again a good thing. :)

Last night was wonderful. I had a blast with the Yantis kids. It's been so long since I've spent any time with Elijah and Ethan and much to my chagrin I've seen Erin less than a dozen times since she's been born. I hate that about living so far away most of the year. I need to get better at prioritizing while I am home. We went for a walk down to Louise Durham and the boys played hard on the equipment. *Side note* They have some really really cool things to play on. I was so impressed, a rock climbing wall and huge jungle gyms. If I wouldn't have had Erin I would've been on them with the boys. Its much nicer than that giant caterpillar that was there when I was in elementary school!* After playing we walked back to their house and played with Erin till she fell asleep. Then the boys and I had some wonderful cuddle time on the couch watching cartoons. This was interrupted by Elijah's exclamation that the prickly hairs on my legs were hurting him and that I really needed to shave! What a hoot!

Rob and April are such amazing people. I am so proud of them. I have so many wonderful memories of those boys. Mainly Elijah cause Ethan still wasn't really talking when I started school in Florida. I love the fact that I've been able to see them grow up. Elijah is just so big and smart and Ethan is a sweetie. I'm gonna sit and ponder the memories for a while. It'll keep me smiling for the rest of the day.

Nothing Much... Just Rambling

2005-06-09T14:15:00.000-05:00

Well, today has been a frustrating one! I'm working at First Financial Bank filling in for a friend. I'm the only one here and I have the hardest time getting the door the lock and unlock! I know that sounds silly, but it kind of causes problems when you can't get in or out!

Anyway, last night I spent the night with Steph at Kent and Julie's (Kent took Julie on a surprise trip to Dallas for their anniversary so Steph was baby-sitting). Those kids are so crazy! I actually had a lot of fun with them. Adrienne gave me a 'pedicure' and Nick perfected his new laugh which actually had us all cracking up! Nick even 'made' dinner, now that was interesting. :) Steph and I had some much needed girl talk after the kids went to bed. That was nice. I also got to see her wedding dress. It's really beautiful. So, all in all it was a really good night.

Tonight I get to baby-sit for the Yantis kids! They are such cuties! I have missed them so much while I've been in Florida. Elijah is so big and handsome! I can't wait.

Then tomorrow... WOOHOO! Its a girls night! Maria and Jenny (my friend from work) and I are hitting Ft. Smith! I can't wait! Its Victoria Secret's Semi-Annual Sale if you know what I mean. :)

Alright, I'm done rambling about my less than exciting life. I'll end this now.

A Time to Cherish

2005-06-07T17:51:00.000-05:00

You know the saying, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone." Well, I've been thinking about it a lot and it's so true yet so sad. I know I've been guilty of treating things in my life like that and it bothers me. You know what Steph said the other day about life being a dash is so true. I've been thinking about that for a while now. I feel in some ways like I'm getting old. Ok, not old, but that my life is moving quickly. I don't want any of it to pass me by. More than the fact that life is just a dash, a dot in eternity, is the fact that we only get one shot. That is what has been hitting me so hard lately. There is no such thing as "do-overs" in this game of life. We only get one try. I want to get it right. I want to learn to cherish what I have now and not have to wait until it is gone to realize the value. I don't want to waste my life. Lots to think about.

Korey and I had a good talk today. We both needed it. We have been floating in this in between stage for too long now and it was killing both of us. Definitely me. He still needs more time, but I think we understand each other a little better. Please continue to pray for us. Especially him that God will help him to see past his fears and do what's right. For wisdom and peace. Thanks. I love you all.

The Peace of God

2005-06-06T16:31:00.000-05:00

The peace of God is an amazing thing, isn't it? Today I had to do one of the hardest things I've ever done. I have no clue how things are going to turn out, but I just know that they are going to be alright. One way or another everything is going to be ok. Its so hard for me to turn things over to God. Actually let me rephrase that, its hard to turn things over and let Him keep them. I have a tendency to take them back constantly. I have serious issues with control (I know most of you are saying, "duh, tell me something I didn't already know.") Its not easy but I'm learning and like I already said God's peace it amazing. He's always there with it just when I need it. Please continue praying for Korey and I. We both need it as well as his wisdom.

2005-06-06T08:24:00.000-05:00

Guys please pray for me and Korey. That's all I can say right now. Just please pray that what's supposed to happen will and both of us will have peace about it.

Love

2005-06-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

I found this in a book I made a few years ago. I wanted to share it.

You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and you know they won't laugh at you. When you can see their face when you close your eyes. When you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight - long after they are gone. When you can still taste their kiss after you have said good-bye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone. When their voice lingers in your ears. When their presence eases the pain. When their name sends chills down your spine. When they are the only thing you can think about. You know you're in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and their soul when you look into their eyes. When they call you at four in the morning and say, "I love you" and mean it. When your tears stain not only their sure, but also their heart. When they are hurt just because of the tears. When even a simple chore done with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you are in love when you can't imagine living without them, and can't figure how you did live before you knew them. When they fulfill every need and without them you are incomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, soul, and mind all at once.

Pretty good, huh?

Waiting

2005-05-31T17:00:00.000-05:00

UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! This is me VERY frusterated! That boy (who shall remain nameless) is driving me up the wall! I don't know what to do. Actually I do... nothing! There is nothing I can do. He has to figure out what he wants. I wish I could make the decision for him but I can't. I'm just still praying he'll be misreable without me. I am without him...

I went to see Melinda Robbins today (my doctor). She is so sweet! I always feel stupid going in there cause she is a pediatician so its me and a bunch of babies, but I don't like any of the other doctors in town so I go to her. Sometimes when I go in there I feel more like I am going to my shrink instead of my doctor. She always wants to talk. Today she started out by asking about Steph. (Steph, I told her what a doll John Mark was and how happy I am for yall). Then she asked about Jennifer and the Baby. (Jen, I told her you had a cute belly and that I call you the Pregnant Princess). Then she asked about me. There wasn't much to tell her. She felt bad. I could tell. She just kept reminding me of what I already know, that my time will come. Its hard when it seems like everyone elses lives are moving at a wonderful pace and all I can do is wait. Jen has the baby and the excitedness of that, Steph has John Mark and the wedding, Britt has Nik and all her friends, Maria has James and her doll of a child Zack, and I have... a guy who doesn't know what he wants. I know it will work out, one way or the other, its just hard... so hard.

So, tonight I'll talk to Korey when he calls, (he's going to cause he text me and told me) and I'll keep waiting. Cause my time will come.

Graduation and College Stuff

2005-05-27T00:10:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired! I just got back from my cousin Jessica's high school graduation. I think it was the coolest graduation I've ever been to. It was complete with fireworks!! Jess is just a doll. I am so excited for her. I kind of made me sad though. I miss that time - the way you feel like the whole world is at your feet and you can accomplish anything. Not that all those are gone for me, I am still in college. I know I have my whole life ahead of me. Its just that I wish I wouldve done things differently with college. I feel like I've wasted this time that is supposed to be the most exciting and fun filled time in my life. I long for normal college experiences, staying up all night, hanging out with friends (without chaps everywhere), going on fun road trips and all that. The rules of PCC are just getting so old. I'm ready to feel 21, I've felt like a 17 year old for long enough. 3 semesters left!

Pointless Thoughts

2005-05-25T19:59:00.000-05:00

Wow! I am amazed at how stressful my day became after I got off of work. Isn't it supposed to be the other day around? (I'm sighing really loudly here) I'm having a hard time deciding just how much of my personal life I want posted on the net. I don't mind some personal stuff (or I wouldn't have a blog) but I think there is a line. I'm trying to find that.

I have nothing else to say... my life is boring.

The Weirdness of Time

2005-05-24T18:55:00.000-05:00

Ever notice how the last 15 minutes of work or a class seem to drag on forever? It drives me up the wall. The rest of the day goes by fast then the last few minutes crawl. That is of course unless it is the last 15 minutes of something you don't want to end like a good movie or a date with your sweetie. In this case the last 15 minutes feels more like 15 seconds. I wonder why that is. Time is such an odd thing.

You know what else about time weirds me out... time differences. Its so odd to me. (I think I may just ponder it too much.) Korey lives in Michigan which is an hour later than here in Arkansas. So when its 7 there its 6 here. Well, when something comes on at 8 there its on at 7 here but those are really the same time, 7 here is 8 there. I know that probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone else and you probably all think I'm crazy, but its something I think about a lot. I don't like it. I think it's weird.

The beginning...

2005-05-23T18:34:00.000-05:00

So this is my first post. How exciting. I've contemplated a blog for a long time now but because I can't have regular email access at school I never did it... I decided today that the time had finally come. I can use it while I am home.
Well today was a stressful day and I'm not in a very good mood so I think I'll list 10 things I love to make me feel better...

1. Random text messages during the day - especially from a certain someone
2. A good shopping trip - shopping is my favorite sport
3. A new Adventures in Odyssey radio set - yes the kids show... its wonderful!
4. Maria's sense of humor - I love being with her when she is in a funny mood nothing makes
me laugh more
5. A good hair day
6. A long road trip - as long as I have a good CD or Radio station
7. The randomness of the people I work with - today I was walking through the hanger and this
guy yells, "Hey! You've gotten skinny since I saw you last I almost didn't recognize you!"
I haven't lost a pound since I was home last, but thanks anyway!
8. 5:00 pm - The most wonderful hour of the day
9. Spending the night at my grandma's house
10. The beginning of a new semester - new classes, new books, new teachers... the only thing
better than the beginning is the end.

Alright not too creative, but true nonetheless. I have a lot to be thankful for...